Category archive: Personal Blog

gonna

Meet Miss Doers and Miss Gonna

Hey, let’s meet these two people that I know. The first person lets called her Miss Doers. Yes, Miss “doers” living in the world of action. Blunt, straight-forward risk-takers, she is willing to plunge right into things and get her hands dirty. She live in the here-and-now, and place little importance on introspection or theory. She look at the facts of a situation, quickly decide what should be done, execute the action, and move on to the next thing.

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growing-seed

Growing Love in Marriage

Have you ever imagine what will be your marriage proposal looks like one day? Under sky full of stars somewhere outside beautiful mountain? Dinner on a most romantic restaurant in the town?

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Overcoming 30 Years Old Syndrome

When you are a woman reaching your early thirty, you might admit that there are several consciousnesses that you have been reach during the starting time of your adulthood. I am tracking back my previous life during my 20th, and end up by figure out how those years had contributed a meaningful thought and understanding about life that I have now. Once I wrote a short note in year 2007, which was around 5 years ago when I am on my twenty-five. The note titled Dear Mr. Right, was kind of addressing letter that I wrote to a fiction character of my future life time committed partners, or generally legalized as your husband.

Nov 11, ’07 5:41 AM for everyone

Dear Mr. Right,

Hi, how are you over there? This could be the thousand times I try to contact you. Keep hoping and believing that you are not just a fiction character of the perfect life story. Yeah, although knowing you is just being a daily consumption of my everyday perception, I feel there’s no necessary to push myself to hard just to find you. You know those romantic-drama movies always try to tell me that I have to make a very complicated romantic journey to gather myself into you. No wonder, if in my quarter century years old live I never could have met you. There’s a time when I can feel your present around me, sneaking naughty from those curtain, but suddenly when I recognize it, you’re just gone. Can you give me another kind of option please? Some understanding that there’s no more Mr. Right in this live maybe?. Or that reality only served its place for Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Happy.

Okay, the fact that it has been 5 years since that note has been written does not make any changes in how life has answers those several questions that I’ve ask in the few last sentences. But, It end up with my understanding that life is not only about finding Mr. Right, it is about sharing your passion with everyone you have met during your life. It is about living your life to the fullest, and giving meaning in each of its step. When I come to that understanding, I amazed by what I’ve accomplished and experience during my past five years. I have been able to overcome many obstacles and challenge that had come to my life, face-it, getting its done, and continue to another level.

I have been able to finish my masters overseas, something that I have struggled to convince my big family that it is always possible for a woman to reach her dream and not to be afraid to set it up high. Now I am very proud, to know that I am the first and probably the only grandchild from the other 34 grandchildren in my family who are able to get that opportunity. It is winning a small chance in a very tight cultural restriction.

I have courage to set-up my own company, another dream about having a work life that I would be able to manage by myself and giving more valuable work opportunity to others. This is a challenge about being an entrepreneur, which is probably not much ever thought by people during my age who are mainly work as employee in well-established companies. Facing the mainstream is always a dare to do jobs, and it needs a lot of hard work to make it work. But I am lucky to be raised in a family who appreciate the value of entrepreneurship in starting a business. It make easier for me to convince my family that I would not work like many other people do, from nine to five with a very nice suites and a very shiny leather foot wear. It is a dream that I have to continue to work until now.

And how about that Mr. Right dream? For sure I am still dreaming of it but in a very quite useful manner, to convert that dream into more positive way, and change it into an energy and motivation. I never lost hope and believe on that, but instead of desperately finding answers for questions above, I construct the foundation with faith. It is sounds like what have been said by Stella to Ted Mosby during their break-up in the 23rd episode of the fourth season of  “How I Met Your Mother” serial. “She’s on her way — and she’s getting here as fast as she can,” Stella promises Ted at the end of their relationship. Aligned with that statement, I highlight one sentence that was really inspiring from Holstee Manifesto, “If you are looking for love of your life, stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love…”.

Wrapping that statement, I start to give stronger and bigger meaning for my life, which make me be able to say.

Don’t be scared to walk alone

Don’t be scared to like it

There’s no time that you must be home

So sleep where darkness falls

Alive in the age of worry

Smile in the age of worry

Go out in the age of worry

And say, “Worry, why should I care?”

This is not magic and one day works to understand and reach that consciousness. It is a whole life lessons that need a hard work to do instead of trying to find answers for your entire question all the time. It is about making your faith, dream and hope work for you. So start share your dream and passion with every people you love and keep your eyes and heart open, because it is always be an opportunity that he could be the Mr. Right Time in The Right Place.***

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

Stocking Bolong

Males banget dot kom buat mikirin kostum acara narsixnite kali ini. Maklum lah, udah keburu cape ngurus persiapannya mulai dari nyari konsep acara ampe di kejar-kejar bumen buat bikin poster, terus udangan graduan dan non graduan, sampe design backdrop yang akhirnya ngga jadi di print juga ama si Aam sang mantan designer yang tampak pundung karena bukan designnya di kali ini yang di jadikan sebagai backdrop acara narsixnite.

SWT, untung ada si Ayu dan printer ajaibnya yang mau mengeprint semua materi backdrop. Mo begaya apa ngga kepikiran malah nYuTuban, iseng-iseng nyari tips-tips jahit menjahit dan membuat aksesoris dari bahan stocking bekas, sambil melirik tumpukan stocking lama yang udah pada keriting dan berjembut. Udah lah babat aja sekalian belon pernah punya stocking bolong-bolong gimana kalo kita realisasikan sekarang.

Mulai dengan memakai stocking dengan cara normal masih di kaki, ambil gunting trus tusuk sana sini, tarik aja biar menimbulkan effect shredded dan ngeliatanin serat-seratnya (I love this part). Koq ngeliat jadinya biasa-biasa aja yak. Uff, eh kalo anak punk gitu kan sering pake sarung tangan, gimana kalo stockingnya kita pindahin aja ke tangan (sambil berdoa ngga kepanjangan kalo di pake di tangan) eh pas euy, yasud mari bolongin ujung-ujungya biar jari-jarinya bisa lolos. Siips boleh lah mayan idenya, mo dipotong koq sayang yakk. Eh, gimana kalo di pake model kaos ngatung? wahahaha tinggal bolongin aja bagian selangkangannya buat masupin ke kepala ahay, asiik effectnya. Udah deh bis itu pake boots ama dress norak 5 dollar gambar lipstik dari Dangerfield.

Ternyata stocking itu ujungya kalo ngelinting jadi bisa dibentuk bunga. Ahay, buat bandana ahh jadi ada bunga-bunganya githuu. Jadilah dandanan gajebo acak bleh terobos bae nyang penting pede.

Badai Serotonin

Serotonin or 5-Hydroxytryptamine is a monoamine neurotransmitter, primarily found in the gastrointestinal (GI) tract, platelets, and in the central nervous system (CNS) of humans and animals. It is a well-known contributor to feelings of well-being.

Mulai nyampah di dunia maya dengan ngeblog. Bodo amat nyang penting mo niat nulis secara konsisten setiap hari. Sebetulnya tadi kepikiran buat niat baca minimal 2 artikel setiap minggu. Setelah merasa di zalimi sama si Aa yang sering merevisi pronunciation gw kalo ngomong bahasa inggris suka salah dan medok kurang bule katanya. Ampe2 kebawa mimpi, mimpi yang aneh menyatakan bahwa gw gagal lulus kuliah gara2 nilai bahasa inggris gw. Njis, perasaan tertekan yang sangatkah ampe jadi mimpi.

Tauk, yang penting hari ini gw seneng berat bisa ketawa puas. Setelah kemaren bisa mencairkan suasana ketegangan pertemanan antara Gw, Ayu, dan Echa yang meregang karena Echa sedang jatuh cinta menyeret2 batin hingga menjauh. Tapi akhirnya maren nekat jalan-jalan bertiga Rio, Gw, ma Ayu ke pantai Altona. Diiringi dengan khayalan ancur tentang gw yang besanan sama Iboy, kelak kemudian apabila dunia tidak kiamat (langsung ngelus2 perut sambil bilang amit2 jabang bayi) Dan diakhiri dengan Echa yang ikut nyusul kita dari stasiun Footscray. Tadinya kita berencana buat makan Pho paporit di Footscray dengan topping paling lengkap se Melbourne, walhasil gagal karena kereta dari Werribe ke city delay 20 menit ditambah kereta sempet mandek ngambek gara2 di dalemnya ada segerombolan ABG pulang pantai rusuh, dan kayanya berantem. Untungnya perubahan acaranya ngga merubah suasana malem minggu. Sampe Flinders melihat suasana Swanston yang rame padat ala sengol menyengol, mlipirlah kita pindah ke Russel. Masih ngga tau mo makan dimana, cuma arah ditujukan ke China Town.

Eh nemu tempat ding-dong. Masup lah kita dengan cueknya berhubung sepi, Rio mo maen drum katanya, Gw ama Ayu langsung se-ide ngeliat kotak Time Crisis. Nuker lembar 5 dollaran jadi coin. Ngajak Ayu tandeman, uhuy gw ngerasa lebih jago maen game sekarang. Sial apa gara2 gw kuliah multimedia yah, jadi cara pandang gw terhadap dunia game berubah ampe gw harus2 terpaksa mulai maen game lagi buat bahan referensi tugas-tugas gw. tapi yang penting sih, otak sama refleks gw lebih santai dan kalem kalo dah didepan layar trus megang joystik ataupun ape itu istilahnya lupa gw (ketemu, gw cuman mo nyebut “console”. Stage pertama gw kalah dari Ayu, kayanya tuh anak jago, ampe gw game over terus nambah 2 dollar lagi, stage kali ini gw menang, karena gw lebih bisa maenin refleks buat ngamatin waktu musuh nyerang sambil ngumpet di balik perlindungan. Ayu mulai game over tapi lanjut lagi masukin 2 dollarnya, jadi ini 2 dollar kedua kita. Ahay, maju terus dong. Kali ini gw lebih bisa manage buat milih senjata, stage kali ini gw menang lagi. Jadi berfikir kayanya tadi ayu mungkin lagi hoki aja. Ayu game over abis coinnya. gw tetep jalan terus ke stage selanjutnya, tapi tangan mulai pegel, dan ngerasa ngga asik lagi dah ngga punya saingan buat motivasi akhirnya gw kasih tuh tembak-tembakannya ke Ayu buat nerusin. Echa duduk nge-autis dengan headphone HD Senheisernya yang baru bersama iphone ngga ngapa-ngapain. Gw nyamperin Rio yang lagi maen drum-druman berharap dia kalah, abis gw dah mulai laper pengen buruan ngajak cabut dari situ. Dua lagu berlangsung, untung tuh mesin bilang Rio kalah, bagus lah akhirnya beranjak lah kita darisitu.

Di perempatan China Town bingung mo belok kiri pa kanan, kagak mo ngambil resiko buat ngga dapet pilihan restoran kita belok kiri berhubung itu jalanan Chinatown yang paling sring kita lewatin. Bingung milih tempat makan, akhirnya niat ke Sambel Kampung masakan Malaysia, ngok! nyaho tutup. Ya iya lah udah jam 10 gitu loh, lompat ke restoran depannya. Spicy Fish, ohoy kita bertiga pernah makan disini dan pada punya kenangan kalo ini restoran enak bin bikin mencret, menu utama andalannya Spicy Fish itu banyak ranjaunya (ranjau dalam hal ini adalah biji-bijian rempah yang berjudul Pepercorn yang kalo kegigit atw kena lidah rasanya kaya odol pepsodent jaman dulu pahit hambar bikin lidah mati rasa) Udah kelaperan abis maen seharian dan ngga jadi-jadi makan, masuplah kita. Weits waitressnya ngasih tempat yang sama waktu Gw, Ayu ma Echa kesini jaman dulu itu. Bagusan dikit ini buku menunya dah kaya arsip laporan akhir taunan perusahaan, abis makin tebel trus ampe di binder segala. Gw mulai ngeces ngeliat gambar ma baca menu2nya, udah ah buruan apa aja kayanya enak semua. Haram, haram deh. Eh jangan ah rasa bersalahnya bikin ngga betah.

Dan tebaklah saudara-saudara apa yang kita pesan, lebih tepatnya Rio sih karena dia belon pernah merasakan mercon itu. Kita pesen Spicy Fish (rekomendasinya Rio), Deep Fried Bingung-> karena bingung mo prawn atw squid tapi akhirnya milih squid (pengenannya Ayu), sama eggplant in spicy sichuan sauce (Gw emang jadi tergila sama terong semenjak di Melbourne), Echa berkontribusi buat ngasih ide pesen minuman peach ice tea yang akhirnya bikin kita ngakak pas dianterin, ternyata lipton ice tea botolan rasa peach, gubraks! Untung ngga pake lama pesenannya dateng. Itadakimasu! kita tutup malem minggu itu dengan pulang susah jalan karena kekenyangan dan males jalan ke stasiun jadi nyegat tram 3A yang lewat depan Swanston aja. Yah 3A arah Malvern East malem minggu emang muterin kita sampe St.Kilda segala, ngga papa lah sambil nontonin rombongan ABG yang baru pada berangkat dugem atau pindah temapt dugem dari satu tempat ke tempat laen. Pokoknya yang bikin gw bisa tersenyum sebelum bobo malem ini adalah baru sadar kita mulai kumpul lagi kayak dulu. Eh udah ngerencanain aja buat jalan lagi besoknya.

Background lagu: Persahabatan bagai kepompong, merubah ulat menjadi kupu-kupu. Lalu berlalulah Iboy dalam bentuk kepompong yang dimasa depan operasi jenis kelamin jadi Igirl banting stir jadi cewe karena merasa pasaranya sebagai lelaki ngga laku-laku, dikemudian hari ia menikahi Arya pengusaha pakaian dalam dengan nama perusahaan Prabu Well Forever (Prabu Jaya Selalu). Ouch, langsung merasa ilfil menghayal masa depan.

Procrastinating

Sunset at St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne 2010

Being procrastinator is totally awsome, like hitchin a ride on a wonderland, hahahaha. It’s been my guilty pleasure today when I prefer to push my self up to the limit, catching due time for my assignment submission. Shit! I supposed to be typing some action script on my flash program instead of typing this notes. Jijiji…Escaping again! I can’t put my head on the assignment, for God shake! this evil persuasion dragging my hair and stuck it in a cool frozen imagination about a whole bunch of idea that wasn’t related to my assignment. I was planning to go out for sunday market in Camberwell this morning, and hook up an event in Indonesian Consulate Office by the noon. Bhwahahahaha, I cancel all those plan just because I haven’t finish my assignment that supposed to be submit by this midnight.

I guess I’m just not in the mood of loving myself the way that I know.

Another Ordinary Night

Crown and Carlton beer in Ayu’s apartment window after chit chatting all night with Alfie, pizza and beer will be a perfect accompany for summer night

Sitting on cheap wine pub somewhere in Lygoon street. Wondering where were you? I was in the mood of imagining that we are still sharing the same star when a snack called fortune cookies so tempting to try.

It seems, I was dragged by my curiosity about knowing what’s written on the paper. Yes, I always miss you this much everyday. Keeping you in my mind with a proper amount froth thickness of a latte. Amount that make it enough to cover the top of the glass in a size of pinky finger’s tip. I wanna make it perfect in composition and wait until the froth itself dripping in milk coffee emulsion in its bottom. That is the time when your latte was not to hot to touch your lips. The right time, the right taste, the right amount, with the right sensation. Yes, I made my froth with faith on you.

Emoticon

One of my routine stop in Malvern East Street a Coin Laundry with May Tag Machine, Melbourne 2009

I always in love by the way concept being established. Like having chemical reactions in your dull brain, we try to construct what have been received by our sense in our consciousness. Concept is a higher level of abstraction; at least that’s what I believe. Once philosopher ever said, “I am exist because I think I was exist” Something there because we try to construct in our mind about that material or object as a concept. Furthermore, if those concepts were being agreed and accepted as common knowledge or gathered in one voice, they will mean something.

I:

>:D<

({}). ({}). ({}). ({}). ({}). ({})

L:

you mistyped your hugs

I:

It’s a secret code

Hihihi

L:

let me guess

I:

Salah

Hahaha

Blm yak?

:D

L:

:))

see

gemeess

I:

No I don’t see u here :(

L:

you try to make a pumpkins

or kue cucur maybe

I:

Nope

Hehe

Aku mau bikin kue kesemek

:))

L:

kesemek bisa dibikin kue?

ok kita sepakat itu kue kesemek

>:D<

I:

Hahaha

Mulai ga jelas bahasannya :p

L:

I’m with you with those words

mari gila bersama

:)

glossary

>:D< hug, :) smile, :p = sticking tongue out, :D = grin, :( = sad

Words were one example of high concept of abstraction. As human being civilize themselves with symbol which they find it as a tool of communication. Nowadays, words and symbol expand in their essence of more than just a ‘tool’ of communication. Remember what you mom probably ever said twenty years ago “don’t talk to strangers”. I wouldn’t imagine what she ever said now if she know that her daughter was kissing and hugging with emoticons. Your mom might have never been involved in what is so called cyberspace interaction. Another dimension of life that might sucked 50% time of modern people today. They replace their real life with dimension of technology which creates virtual community bigger than world and compete with universe itself. Unlimited space of interaction> communication> words> symbol> concept> and abstraction. Development of technology seems always try to challenge every limit of human-computer-human interaction. They translate human needs of visual appearance and behavior trough symbol. Technology give an answer to your mom that her daughter is dating a yellow round small boyfriend with no nose, named emoticon.

Optical Illusion

Window’s View from Ayu’s Apartment, Melbourne 2010

When 6 degrees in Melbourne means 22 degree in Washington, I have my black coffee with a slice of blueberry cheesecake. There is a quote from one of romantic drama movie “My Blueberry Night” scene when Jude Law give his analogy about relationship.

“At the end of every night a cheese cake and the apple pie are always completely gone. There’s piece cobbler and chocolate mousse cake are nearly finish. But it’s always a whole blueberry pie left untouched. So what’s wrong with the blueberry pie? It’s nothing wrong with the blueberry pie. People make another choices, you can’t blame the blueberry pie, it’s just no one wants it.”

This is actually story about “Our Secret Goodbye”

Nothing more self-hurting than letting you off out my door. The longest detachment trough a whole love story. It was December 2008, first summer in my life, first time I saw you. There you are appear in front of my door, standing behind your best friend. Geezz, how I miss those warm summer, as seasons changing for the second time. It was a marvelous time to held a house warming. Glasses toast of wine, bottles of beer, Daniel’s home made cookies, I still reckon that’s the best home made cookie I ever had in Melbourne. He probably made those cookies with love for my best friend which he never admit it. All I can see is a smile in corner of my bedroom which also functions as living room. Smiling quietly in your secret way, like 5 watt bulb, bright and soft.

Is there any such thing called love at first sight? Now I just thought that was just a merely bedtime story. Sight-See-Eyes = Optical Illusion? In my opinion, that was something that you are unworthy believe. Maybe, since eyes were located near to your brain, they will give spontaneous response to process an idea or perception in your mind. While heart in the other hand, need to work harder to give an idea about what you feel about someone for the first time. You need time to understand what your heart says about someone, but believe me it’s worthed. Can you imagine how heart functioned to flow blood trough all of your body, it makes all your nerves and sense work properly. You can let your eyes to have a rest, but not with you heart. Your heart will continue working to keep you alive.

When you saw someone at first, your heart wouldn’t have any change to give its response directly, meanwhile your eyes will tell whatever may appear with it. Yeah maybe, your heart too busy doing its main job than to tell the truth about what other senses felt about what’s happened. I trust my heart more than my eyes when I am falling in love. Maybe the symptoms appear to be a raise on your blood, faster beat of your heart, reddish complexion in your skin tone, warmth temperature of your cheek. You might still want to denied it, but you cannot avoid it.

For me, what ever happened to my heart when you walking out of my door at your last day in Melbourne. It cries pouring blood everywhere trough small holes, it needs another one summer and two times of winter to let my heart working on you again. Hey but, I just find out that it works stronger now, a lot of more better than the first time.

So you are my blueberry pie, I won’t touch you two years before. But I’ll keep you a whole piece in the end of the day and have you as my dinner. Since I don’t want to share any slice of you with the others, I still have to wait to touch you for the next of two years.

Caffeinated With You

50 cents doughnut in Camberwell sunday market my must have breakfast for weekend, Melbourne 2009

How would you like to have your coffee done?
Ehm as always, long black with two sugars. Make it two shot please! And I’ll be ready to rock on my days. They usually double-up the cup, don’t be too stupid to realize that either short or long black were hotter than regular late, flat white, or cappuccino. That’s why I always get my own rubberized-hold take away cup everywhere with me. Purely flavored smell of roasted coffee come out with the steamed hot water; simple, straight, bold, dare for insane. Milk will only make it weaker, some people may have it to let its froth licked by their tongue, but not for me. I’m not a kind of short time player, I challenge eternalness.

No..no..absolutely no decaf! Since I’m still lovin the way caffeine work with my mood, taste like love at first sight. Yup, you can call it A Shot In The Dark: ‘Hammerhead’ as stubborn as I am, but two sugar will enough to reincarnated me into a not cold-hearted human being, like the others.